How Does Wayne Do This? # 1 in a Series

Okay, so I'm collecting rejection slips as usual and my friend Wayne Allen Sallee, author of FIENDS BY TORCHLIGHT, THE HOLY TERROR, WITH WOUNDS STILL WET, and the only Penthouse story with "Division Street" in the title, sends me a picture of himself posing with GloriAnne Gilbert, actress and sci-fi model, star of BUSTY COPS 2, COUNTESS DRACULA'S ORGY OF BLOOD, and THE WITCHES OF BREASTWICK. He claims that he asked her to slap him and she felt sorry for him instead. In her film roles, Miss Gilbert's wide cheekbones, open smile and sweet demeanour set her apart from the usual hauteur of the B-movie barbarian princess, making Wayne's story weirdly plausible.

I'm starting to think the price of living in Kalamazoo, instead of one of the larger cultural centers, may be too high. Wayne's current adventures at the World Horror Convention in Toronto can be found at his blog, Frankenstein 1959 . Wayne sometimes wipes of the ichor, suppresses his bloodthirsty glee and pretends to be a tortured artiste. I look at this picture and I think Wayne is full of shit.


Anonymous said...

Do not allow the green monster to bite and fester---get off your doff and write some more! Signed, one of your longest fans.

Ormondroyd's Encyclopedia Esoterica said...

I promise, my "How Does Wayne Do This?" series is meant in friendly jest, not in jealous rancor. In truth, if I had met GloriAnne Gilbert, I don't think I could bear the crushed look on her face when she found out I'm unavailable. I did share pot luck with Joseph Campbell (he asked for second helpings of my corn bread), putting me one up on Wayne in the mythical scholars department-- though rumor has it there's a picture circulating the internet that shows Wayne posing with Mircea Eliade, and he even wore the little outfit.