ABRAMOFF FOLLIES, PART THREE: Tell 'em Fred Sent You

The White House has bamboozled the Abramoff prosecution with a ju-jitisu move so greasy it's admirable. This was done not not by firing the investigators, but by promoting the prosecutor in charge of the case to a federal judgeship. Now that's good old fashioned politics!

Thoreau said "read not the times, but the eternities." I say read the Times, the eternities, and Hecht and MacArthur's script for "His Girl Friday", aka "The Front Page":

MAYOR
How much do you make a week?

PINKUS
Huh?

MAYOR
(impatiently) How much do you make a week? What's your salary?

PINKUS
(reluctantly) Forty dollars.

HARTMAN
(into phone) No -- don't out me off.

MAYOR
How would you like to have a job for three hundred and fifty dollars a month. That's almost a hundred dollars a week!

PINKUS
Who? Me?

MAYOR
(exasperated) Who do you think!

Pinkus is a little startled; the Mayor hastens to adopt a
milder manner.

MAYOR
Now, listen. There's a fine opening for a fellow like you in the City Sealer's office.

PINKUS
The what?

MAYOR
The City Sealer's office!

PINKUS
You mean here in the city?

MAYOR
(foaming) Yes, yes!

HARTMAN
(at phone) Well, wait a minute, will you? I'm in conference.

PINKUS
(a very deliberate intellect) No, I couldn't do that.

MAYOR
Why not?

PINKUS
I couldn't work in the city. You see, I've got my family in the country.

MAYOR
(desperate) But you could bring 'em in here! We'll pay all your expenses.

PINKUS
(with vast thought) No, I don't think so.

MAYOR
For heaven's sake, why not?

PINKUS
I got two kids going to school there, and if I changed them from one town to another, they'd lose a grade.

MAYOR
No, they wouldn't -- they'd gain one! And I guarantee that they'll graduate with highest honors!

PINKUS
(lured) Yeah?

HARTMAN
(into phone) Hold your horses -- will you, Olsen? Hurry up, Fred!

MAYOR
Now what do you say?

PINKUS
This puts me in a peculiar hole.

MAYOR
No, it doesn't. (hands him the reprieve) Now, remember: you never delivered this. (rushing him to the door) You got caught in the traffic, or something. (opening door) Now, get out of here and don't let anybody see you.

PINKUS
But how do I know...?

MAYOR
Come in and see me in my office tomorrow. What's your name?

PINKUS
Pinkus.

MAYOR
(taking out his wallet) All right, Mr. Pinkus, all you've got to do is lay low and keep your mouth shut. Here! (he hands him a card) Go to this address. It's a nice, homey little place, and they'll take care of you for the night. Just tell 'em Fred sent you. And here's fifty dollars on account.

He pushes money into Pinkus's hand and pushes him through
the door. Pinkus goes.

HARTMAN
(into phone, desperately) Will you wait, Olsen? I'll tell you in a minute!

The door opens again and Pinkus comes back in.

PINKUS
You forgot to tell me what a City Sealer has to do.

MAYOR
(turning hastily toward Pinkus) I'll explain it tomorrow!

PINKUS
Is it hard?

MAYOR
No! It's easy -- it's very easy!

HARTMAN
(pleadingly, into phone) Just one second --

PINKUS
That's good, because my health ain't what it used to be.

MAYOR
(pushing him out the door) We'll fix that, too. (he closes the door after him)


From The New York Times, Friday 27 January 2006:
"The investigation of Jack Abramoff, the disgraced Republican lobbyist, took a surprising new turn on Thursday when the Justice Department said the chief prosecutor in the inquiry would step down next week because he had been nominated to a federal judgeship by President Bush.

"The prosecutor, Noel L. Hillman, is chief of the department's public integrity division, and the move ends his involvement in an inquiry that has reached into the administration as well as the top ranks of the Republican leadership on Capitol Hill.

".... Mr. Hillman's departure from the Justice Department creates a vacancy at the top of the Abramoff inquiry only three weeks after Mr. Abramoff, once one of the city's most powerful Republican lobbyists and a major fund-raiser for Mr. Bush, announced his guilty plea and agreed to testify against others, possibly including members of Congress.

".... Colleagues at the Justice Department say Mr. Hillman has been involved in day-to-day management of the Abramoff investigation since it began almost two year ago. The inquiry, which initially focused on accusations that Mr. Abramoff defrauded Indian tribes out of tens of millions of dollars in lobbying fees, is being described within the department as the most important federal corruption investigation in a generation...."

See also Demons Delayed, Lifeguard Heads international Think Tank, et alia

Abramoff Follies, Two: Demons DeLayed

Abramoff's circus was filled with former employees of the amoral Tom DeLay. According to DCEIVER at Wonkette, the house of cards began to fall when Mike Scanlon (DeLay alumni) was caught flaming it up with an attractive manicurist by his main squeeze Emily Miller (DeLay alumni), who in a rit of fealous jage dropped a dime on Scanlon, who then dropped a dime on Abramoff, who then...

***
It's been clear for some time that Thomas "I AM the federal government" DeLay is mad as a hatter. This is an incredibly powerful politician who could say things like: "it's never been proven that air toxins are hazardous to people". This is the man who said, in a debate on raising the minimum wage: "Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist. Fortunately, such families do not exist." And don't forget DeLay's explanation for not serving in Vietnam: "So many minority youths had volunteered that there was literally no room for patriotic folks like myself."

An alternate explanation-- one I favor-- is that Tom DeLay is demonically possessed. (See Robert Heinlein's story "Lost Legacy", collected in "Assignment in Eternity" for more information.) It is a source of wonder that the man has stayed in office longer than a week. The Texans I know have never voted for DeLay, and DeLay's skill at gerrymandering can only explain so much. It may be that Texans keep re-electing DeLay because they think he's funny, without realizing how damaging he is to the body politic. This is a state that still hasn't done the math on drunk driving, guns and fatalities, in a nation that thinks daytime TV will build responsible citizens.

Why oh why didn't we keep Texas out of the Union when we had the chance? Felt sorry for Sam Houston I suppose, and it all went for naught, since Houston died abandoned and disdained by his fellow Texans.

Jonathon Alter tells this story from 1995:
"I had heard a rumor about him (DeLay) that I figured could not possibly be true. The rumor was that after the GOP took control of the House that year, DeLay had begun keeping a little black book with the names of Washington lobbyists who wanted to come see him. If the lobbyists were not Republicans and contributors to his power base, they didn't get into "the people's House." DeLay not only confirmed the story, he showed me the book. His time was limited, DeLay explained with a genial smile. Why should he open his door to people who were not on the team?"

A Mr. Blunt looks to have the votes for replacing DeLay. Local swineherds are advised to keep their piggies away from cliffs for the next couple of weeks.

See Also: Vaudeville Part One, Masters of Morality, Don't Question Me, Popular Self Delusion, et alia

Abramoff and Scanlon: There’s Nothing Like Vaudeville, Part One

It’s a gray wet Wednesday, and everyone in DC is scrambling to give away the “gifts” they took from Jack Abramoff and Michael Scanlon.
It seems that Abramoff has copped a plea, is naming names, and that has everyone as nervous as a whore in church.
We have to find our laughter where we can, and some was provided in a C-SPAN rerun of John McCain and the Senate Indian Affairs Committee from June 22, 2005.
It seems that the venal Abramoff and the wretched Scanlon were setting up fake corporations to launder the $66 million they scammed from Indian tribes. How low do you have to be to cheat an Indian tribe??? Here a friend of Scanlon’s explains how he became“director of a internationally respected think tank” :

MCCAIN: Mr. Grosh, you and Mr. Mann were designated as directors of the AIC, which was described in its own Web site as a, quote, "international think tank." It's a very interesting on its Web site. It's described as -- "The American International Center is a public policy research foundation founded in 2001 under the high-power directorship of David A. Grosh and Brian J. Mann.”
.... Mr. Grosh, I will begin with you. What did the AIC do?

GROSH: I was only involved maybe five months -- four or five months. The whole time I was involved, we rented the first floor of a house and installed some computers.

**** (omitted for length: Brian J. Mann invokes his Fifth Amendment rights not to answer.)

MCCAIN: Mr. Grosh, did you give Mr. Scanlon permission to put your name up on the AIC Web site?

GROSH: On the Web site, no.

MCCAIN: Did you give Mr. Scanlon permission to hold you out as a director for the AIC?

GROSH: Yes.
....

MCCAIN: Mr. Grosh, did the AIC conduct any board meetings?

GROSH: I recall one.

MCCAIN: And how long did that last?

GROSH: Fifteen minutes.

MCCAIN: Do you recall any business that was discussed at these board meetings?

GROSH: Off the top of my head, no. I'm sure we discussed something -- not to be glib.

MCCAIN: Mr. Mann, I think it says when these meetings took place, the extent of your role in the AIC at that time was cleaning the downstairs office space. Is that correct? [Mann repeatedly refuses to answer as is his right under the Fifth Amendment.] ....

MCCAIN: ... As far as you are concerned, Mr. Grosh, was this basically another Scanlon entity?

GROSH: Well, legally, no. It was Mr. Mann and -- he was calling the shots, sure.

MCCAIN: So were you really surprised when all this information started coming out that you were a director of a internationally respected think tank?

GROSH: Surprised, not really. The reason I got out of it when I found out it involved the federal government, Indian tribes and gambling, I knew that it was headed down the wrong way.

****
MCCAIN: Tell me how this all began, Mr. Grosh. Were you friends with Mr. Scanlon or...

GROSH: Yes, I've known Mr. Scanlon since I was about 14.

MCCAIN: And what happened? He approached you in some way.

GROSH: Phone call.

MCCAIN: And said?

GROSH: Do you want to be head of an international corporation?

(LAUGHTER)

A hard one to turn down.

(LAUGHTER)

MCCAIN: And at the time, were you living in Rehoboth Beach?

GROSH: Yes, sir.

MCCAIN: And Mr. Scanlon then informed you that your home would be the headquarters or did you...

GROSH: Actually, at that point, no, there was no headquarters.

MCCAIN: Well, tell me -- could you tell me just the sequence of events that took place after that?

GROSH: I asked him what I had to do, and he said, "Nothing." So that sounded pretty good to me.

(LAUGHTER)

And then he -- I'm trying to think how it all happened. He came by. We spoke about it. And at the time, I was like, "Yes, sure," but not really taking it seriously.

And then he had me sign some papers and then we went to a -- I met him here in D.C. and we took over the bottom of the house I was living in.

MCCAIN: Did you receive compensation for this role?

GROSH: Yes.

MCCAIN: And your background -- is a very honorable one -- I understand as a lifeguard, is that correct?

GROSH: Among other things. I'm not a lifeguard anymore. No.

MCCAIN: And could you give us a little resume as some of your background.

GROSH: Right now, I'm a excavator -- machine operator, construction worker, mentor in pre-schools, bartender and typical beach employment.

MCCAIN: Thank you.

And do you remember the extent of the compensation that you received from Mr. Scanlon, roughly?

GROSH: No more than $2,000, $2,500.

MCCAIN: A month?

GROSH: No, total.

MCCAIN: Total.

Did Mr. Scanlon promise you any fringe benefits?

GROSH: Well, I don't know if this is related to the AIC. We went to a Washington Capitals-Pittsburgh Penguins hockey game.

****
Grosh’s opening statement was two sentences long: “I’m embarrassed and disgusted to be a part of this whole thing, The Lakota Indians have a word, washichu , which aptly describes all of us right now.”

Washichu, depending on whom you ask, either means “white man” or “he who steals all the fat.” Maybe both.