ABRAMOFF FOLLIES, PART THREE: Tell 'em Fred Sent You

The White House has bamboozled the Abramoff prosecution with a ju-jitisu move so greasy it's admirable. This was done not not by firing the investigators, but by promoting the prosecutor in charge of the case to a federal judgeship. Now that's good old fashioned politics!

Thoreau said "read not the times, but the eternities." I say read the Times, the eternities, and Hecht and MacArthur's script for "His Girl Friday", aka "The Front Page":

MAYOR
How much do you make a week?

PINKUS
Huh?

MAYOR
(impatiently) How much do you make a week? What's your salary?

PINKUS
(reluctantly) Forty dollars.

HARTMAN
(into phone) No -- don't out me off.

MAYOR
How would you like to have a job for three hundred and fifty dollars a month. That's almost a hundred dollars a week!

PINKUS
Who? Me?

MAYOR
(exasperated) Who do you think!

Pinkus is a little startled; the Mayor hastens to adopt a
milder manner.

MAYOR
Now, listen. There's a fine opening for a fellow like you in the City Sealer's office.

PINKUS
The what?

MAYOR
The City Sealer's office!

PINKUS
You mean here in the city?

MAYOR
(foaming) Yes, yes!

HARTMAN
(at phone) Well, wait a minute, will you? I'm in conference.

PINKUS
(a very deliberate intellect) No, I couldn't do that.

MAYOR
Why not?

PINKUS
I couldn't work in the city. You see, I've got my family in the country.

MAYOR
(desperate) But you could bring 'em in here! We'll pay all your expenses.

PINKUS
(with vast thought) No, I don't think so.

MAYOR
For heaven's sake, why not?

PINKUS
I got two kids going to school there, and if I changed them from one town to another, they'd lose a grade.

MAYOR
No, they wouldn't -- they'd gain one! And I guarantee that they'll graduate with highest honors!

PINKUS
(lured) Yeah?

HARTMAN
(into phone) Hold your horses -- will you, Olsen? Hurry up, Fred!

MAYOR
Now what do you say?

PINKUS
This puts me in a peculiar hole.

MAYOR
No, it doesn't. (hands him the reprieve) Now, remember: you never delivered this. (rushing him to the door) You got caught in the traffic, or something. (opening door) Now, get out of here and don't let anybody see you.

PINKUS
But how do I know...?

MAYOR
Come in and see me in my office tomorrow. What's your name?

PINKUS
Pinkus.

MAYOR
(taking out his wallet) All right, Mr. Pinkus, all you've got to do is lay low and keep your mouth shut. Here! (he hands him a card) Go to this address. It's a nice, homey little place, and they'll take care of you for the night. Just tell 'em Fred sent you. And here's fifty dollars on account.

He pushes money into Pinkus's hand and pushes him through
the door. Pinkus goes.

HARTMAN
(into phone, desperately) Will you wait, Olsen? I'll tell you in a minute!

The door opens again and Pinkus comes back in.

PINKUS
You forgot to tell me what a City Sealer has to do.

MAYOR
(turning hastily toward Pinkus) I'll explain it tomorrow!

PINKUS
Is it hard?

MAYOR
No! It's easy -- it's very easy!

HARTMAN
(pleadingly, into phone) Just one second --

PINKUS
That's good, because my health ain't what it used to be.

MAYOR
(pushing him out the door) We'll fix that, too. (he closes the door after him)


From The New York Times, Friday 27 January 2006:
"The investigation of Jack Abramoff, the disgraced Republican lobbyist, took a surprising new turn on Thursday when the Justice Department said the chief prosecutor in the inquiry would step down next week because he had been nominated to a federal judgeship by President Bush.

"The prosecutor, Noel L. Hillman, is chief of the department's public integrity division, and the move ends his involvement in an inquiry that has reached into the administration as well as the top ranks of the Republican leadership on Capitol Hill.

".... Mr. Hillman's departure from the Justice Department creates a vacancy at the top of the Abramoff inquiry only three weeks after Mr. Abramoff, once one of the city's most powerful Republican lobbyists and a major fund-raiser for Mr. Bush, announced his guilty plea and agreed to testify against others, possibly including members of Congress.

".... Colleagues at the Justice Department say Mr. Hillman has been involved in day-to-day management of the Abramoff investigation since it began almost two year ago. The inquiry, which initially focused on accusations that Mr. Abramoff defrauded Indian tribes out of tens of millions of dollars in lobbying fees, is being described within the department as the most important federal corruption investigation in a generation...."

See also Demons Delayed, Lifeguard Heads international Think Tank, et alia