Page Three Propaganda

101 Reasons to Despise Modern Conservatives:
1. "Conservative ideology" is almost always a thinly disguised excuse for being a shitheel.
2. "Conservative ideology" isn't. Confucius was a conservative. Mean-spirited sophists who shamelessly kiss up to power and kick down at everyone else are not truly "conservative".

REASON 100 and ONE to Really, Really, Hate the Bastards (counting backwards): Tim Ireland, media watchdog thrice blessed (though Allah be the wiser) who keeps a weather eye on Rupert Murdoch, reports the following:

"In the US, Rupert Murdoch's most effective propaganda tool is FOXNews. In the UK, it's a tabloid newspaper called The Sun with a daily circulation of about 3 million and change (more). Almost every day in The Sun, you can turn to Page 3 and see a picture of a topless woman. I know you're keen to hear more about that, but first, some background....
".... In Ye Olde Days, the topless models on Page 3 were accompanied by just enough insight and innuendo to allow the average reader to identify with the model and perhaps imagine they would be welcome to step into their lives and treat them to a 'playful' tweak of the nipples or a 'harmless' bongo session. Were the model training to be an accountant, the text would playfully refer to her "ample assets" and the "bottom line". Had she been a vet's assistant or even the owner of a small domestic animal, the caption would suggest that "She also brings the beast out in us, eh readers?".... and so on and so forth until you feared your sides would split.
... "Under the new editor, Rebekah Wade, this changed. Pictures of Page 3 models were soon accompanied by a caption entitled "News in Briefs". This is funny for two entirely different reasons; because (haha) she's wearing briefs and because Murdoch's news outlets are notorious for blurring the line between news and editorial content. And what editorial content, ladies and gentleman!
.... "The following are all actual News in Briefs items that have appeared over the last 6 months or so. Throughout the page, we'll be charitably operating on the assumption that these are the actual opinions of the models, and not those of the government, the editorial team at The Sun and/or their master Rupert Murdoch....
"Tue, February 03, 2004: Today, Zoe, 22, from London, uses her empowering platform to tell us that she is certain that Blair was right to take Britain into the war with Iraq. And good for her. She reassures readers who may be bothering their heads with small details following the publication of the Hutton Report and lays it on the line with the following statement (which closely echoes one of Tony Blair's only remaining defences at this stage): "You don't need to be an international diplomat to realise the world is better off without Saddam. We should be proud of what has been achieved." Wed, February 25, 2004: Today, Katie (19, from Liverpool) is 'horrified' at the thought if EU health tourists clogging our NHS and says: "The government should do something to protect the health service from these freeloaders." Thu, February 26, 2004: Today Melanie (23, from Watford) has an ample chest that is 'full of pride' for the war heroes who received medals from the Queen. She goes on to say: "Their exploits were an inspiration. They deserve all the praise they get after going beyond the call of duty to topple Saddam." Wed, April 07, 2004: Natasha (21, from Torquay) believes it's vital that our troops remain in Iraq and says: "Our boys are doing a fantastic job peacekeeping. To give in to a minority of extremists would be an insult to the brave soldiers who lost their lives fighting to free Iraq from its evil regime...."

endquote; © Tim Ireland 2004 , please see Murdoch Watch for more.

This is not, repeat not, a parody, though the editorial board at Ormondroyd's remembers fondly the testimony of Miss Rita Fang, Page Three Girl, in a courtroom scene from Monty Python. We here at Ormondroyd's Encyclopedia Esoterica are firmly in the grip of Maia, the Illusion that Men mistake for Reality. We freely admit our fascination with the transitory lure of beauty. No one holds a candle to our admiration for the Page Three tradition. Our Chief Editor is still convinced that Justine Greiner, Playboy's Miss February of 1984, is in her private life a philosopher, wit, religious icon and philanthropist of profound depth. More evidence that the universal force we call "God" is probably female.

We would sooner deface a work of art than use Page Three girls for propaganda purposes. This out-Herods Herod. Ken Kesey once worried that if commercialization and hype persisted, we would one day have our pudenda tatooed, "MOTHER NATURE PRESENTS!"

Now it has come to this. Have you at last, Sir Rupert, lost all sense of decency? Have you no sense of shame?