Orwell Award Nominees, August 2005

Poor George Orwell; to have his name forever connected with what he hated most.

THE WHIRLIGIG AWARD, for STATEMENT MOST LIKELY TO MAKE ERIC BLAIR SPIN IN HIS GRAVE: Donald Rumsfeld, finding a new way to describe dead American soldiers: "The lethality, however, is up." (Aug. 19, 2005)

THE JOSEPH GOEBBELS AWARD, given for attempts to ALTER INCONVENIENT FACTS BY SMEARING THE TRUTH TELLER goes to the Rove/Libby/Plame/Wilson affair, the best summary of which can be found in the Lost Angeles Times. And why isn't Robert Novak in jail yet?

EVIL MASQUERADING AS VIRTUE, ANTICHRIST DIVISION: Pat Robertson, nominally a Christian: ""You know, I don't know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we're trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it. It's a whole lot cheaper than starting a war, and I don't think any oil shipments will stop. We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability. We don't need another $200 billion war to get rid of one, you know, strong-arm dictator. It's a whole lot easier to have some of the covert operatives do the job and then get it over with." (Monday)

BALD FACE CHUTZPAH AWARD: Wednesday: nominal "Christian" Robertson denies having called for Chavez to be killed and said The AP misinterpreted his remarks. "I didn't say 'assassination.' I said our special forces should 'take him out.' 'Take him out' could be a number of things including kidnapping."

Perhaps 'take him out for dinner'; a Last Supper might be nice.

'GOD CAN'T STRIKE THEM DEAD, BECAUSE PAT ROBERTSON HAS KIDNAPPED JESUS' AWARD: Tombstones for American war dead may include the name of the war they served in, as in "WWI, WWII, Korea, Vietnam". Now instead of place names like "Iraq" or "Afghanistan", the Pentagon names operations with phrases like "Enduring Freedom" that will inspire or imply public support for conflicts.

These nominees have invited themselves into our homes and posed as experts, while receiving vast sums of money for swimming pools and second homes. They have to expect a bit of impertinence from the Flyover states.

Finally, our equivalent of the Jean hirscholt Humanitarian Award, BEST DEFENSE from DOUBLESPEAK:The gentleman in this photo, Bill Moyer, served in WWII, Korea and Vietnam. Here he is shown listening to President Bush address the VFW in Salt Lake City.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bill Moyer is 73? How did he serve in WW2? Were they drafting 13 year olds?

Regardless, I love the guy already.

Ormondroyd's Encyclopedia Esoterica said...

Beats me, but here's the source.

If he was born in 1932, that makes him only 13 in 1945, and even Audie Murphy (most decorated soldier in WWII) waited until he was 17... so somebody's off by a few.

If this gets noticed at Fox News, the next month will be "Bill Moyer lied about his age, and you can't believe a word he says."

Ormondroyd's Encyclopedia Esoterica said...

You're thinking of Bill MoyerS with an S.