Monkey Fucks Football in Michigan Primary, Brings Winter to My Soul

Welcome to the most cynical blog in the wintry state of Michigan, where wickedness goes masked as virtue. Home to a Russian style ballot in the Democratic primary, where Hillary Clinton, the candidate of the party establishment, is still on the ballot even though the party establishment ordered Obama and Edwards to take their names off the Michigan ballot because Michigan democrats dared to move their primary to an earlier date. (Kucinich is still on the ballot because his people didn't get the paper work in before the ballots were printed.) None of the candidates are campaigning in Michigan, though our Governor, a Hillary supporter, is not displeased by this turn of events, and senator Carl Levin is asking Obama and Edwards supporters to vote Uncommitted. And CNN is reporting this clusterfuck with a banner reading CLINTON WINS MICHIGAN PRIMARY. She's owed, Goddamnit!

PBS Frontline is opening its season with Cheney's Law a comprehensive look at precisely how the Constitution was subverted by the agita of this determined bully and his followers. The Red Wings lost to the Thrashers, five to one, for Bog's sake-- with a hat trick against us, and 46 saves by the other goalie?

The bear didn't just eat us this day, it ate us and shat us out. Work is soul-killing, the weather is dreadful, but not dreadful enough to close work tomorrow. A fitful nap, and even more depressed. I ask the silent universe, why is virtue thwarted? Against stupidity, do the gods indeed contend in vain?

The cats and Sophie the Wonder Rabbit try to comfort but cannot cheer me. They haven't the words. Then my friend Wayne, a professional writer of horror who ponders with the Problem of Evil on a daily basis, answers the mystery by explaining why Gilligan sabotaged every attempt to leave the island. I will not elaborate, except to say that the explanation involves Ginger the glamorous movie star and to complain that the picture was shot from the wrong angle-- who wants to look at Bob Denver with that expression on his face? This atrocity made me laugh out loud in disgust and wonder as well as amusement, and my courage returns as from a shot of whiskey. Cheers, mate.


Anonymous said...

Buck up --you need sunshine.
What the "f", that is not a win for Hillary. It is a joke. The uncommitted votes are the winners...
they are free to do as they will.
I had a lot of explaining to my husband about what the Michigan primary actually presented.
Arizona hardly matters with our mail in ballots for February 5th.
Sit under a full spectrum light and take that shot of whiskey. Spring will come again.
Dee Ann (in sunny Arizona but the public schools are just as crazy)Thank God I'm hourly!

John Martin said...

Yah, this is fucked in the ass. Maybe the best blog post title ever. Spot fucking on. Cheers. J