Friends of Ormondroyd's Official Graffiti Wall and Commonplace Book



Less personal than a journal or diary, the "Commonplace Book" is a collection of random quotations, favorite authors, conversations, clippings, and bon mots. Add your own or comment on others', as you might scribble on a wall. Your entries need not serve as a Rorschach test; quotes can be silly or profound, heartfelt or just a momentary thought. Play nice. Additions will be woven into the main body, with initials to credit the contributor.

Thanks, Pat, Pamela, et al...

"What annoys me is that Spielberg is such an egomaniac these days that it has to be 'Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds. No, you pus-bag. It's H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds, and it wouldn't kill you to put his fucking name on it." --Harlan Ellison

"The more he spoke of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons."
attributed to Samuel Johnson, later to Emerson.
(MF)

On a bathroom wall: "My mother made me a lesbian."
Scrawled underneath: "If I get her the yarn, will she make me one too?"
(MF)

Nelson Algren's Three Rules for Living:
One: Never eat in a restaurant called "Mom's".
Two: Never play cards with a man called "Doc".
Three: Don't sleep with anyone who has more problems than you do.
(MF)

"The only thing in the world worth a damn is the strange, touching, pathetic, awesome nobility of the individual human spirit." -- John D. MacDonald (Travis McGee's credo for a knight-errant's banner)
(M.F.)

My favorite epitaph, the one I hope to earn, inshallah, is Falstaff's:
"Nay, sure, he's not in hell: he's in Arthur's bosom, if ever man went to Arthur's bosom. "
(the usual saying is "he sleeps in Abraham's bosom'; great-souled Falstaff prefered King Arthur, and so do I.)
(MF)

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
-- Groucho Marx (PR)


"In one hour of operation, the average gas mower emits the same amout of climate-changing hydrocarbons as a 1992 Ford Explorer driven over 23,000 miles."
-- Co-op America's Real Money, June/July 2002, adapted from The Organic Suburbanite by Warren Schultz, Rodale, 2001.(PR)


I don't need time. What I need is a deadline.
--Duke Ellington (PR)

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by
stupidity.
--Hanlon's Razor (PR)

"Pardon him, Theodotus. He is a barbarian, and thinks the customs of his tribe and island are the laws
of nature." - George Bernard Shaw, Caesar and Cleopatra
(RAH)

"Oh, Goddamnit, we forgot the silent prayer!" -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
(JDM)

(PJ) --Steve Benson, The Arizona Star

“[Tolstoy’s] opinions about syphilis … are not merely disreputable but they unmask an ignorant man who hasn’t taken the trouble in the course of his long life to read two or three books written by specialists.... Tolstoy calls doctors scoundrels and flaunts his ignorance of important matters because he is a second Diogenes whom no one will report to the police or denounce to the newspapers. So to hell with the philosophy of the great men of the world.... Reason and justice tell me that there is more love for mankind in electricity and steam than in chastity and abstinence from meat” --Chekhov (in letters)

Pity the Pusher, Prostitute and Politician


Let us play devil's advocate and defend politicians, though it cracks the enamel on our teeth to say so.
The nature of politics, managing the life of the "polis", means getting diverse people or groups to compromise their own self interests long enough to achieve some common goal, even something as simple as a sewage bond or school mill proposal.
… And you have to get all these yahoos moving in the same direction just to keep the lights on and the fire trucks gassed up... let us pity the poor politicians-- the honest ones, at least, who try, like Confucius, to construct a society with imperfect materials...
…And now, as if the basic task weren't impossible enough, you have to hold on to your job by kissing the ass and smiling at people you ordinarily despise. We are forced to concede that this is a truly noble form of ass-kissing; could any of us schmooze some jerk and promise some selfish prick a hand-job just to get a children's hospital built?
…And you have to learn to use television to stay in office, even though you hate it...
…And you hate having to reduce complex issues to sound bites for morons...
…And it doesn't matter how good and honest and true statesman you are, it doesn't matter how smart or how competent you are because you're going to be beaten by some sentient colon polyp who’s been trained in television and isn't good at anything except winning primaries... and in a world built by advertising, this skillful insincerity is admired rather than condemned…
… And you have to beg, borrow or steal the money to buy the television time, giving away a little to get a little while trying to remember your original goals...and instead of talking about vital issues, they want you to wear a flannel shirt to reassure both women voters and the NRA.
… And why do you agree to this nonsense?
… Because the American polis has trained our politicians to jump through these hoops to make us happy because we don’t give a shit about issues or civic virtrue or reality instead of lies
… Because we’re the ones who eat up the shit that comes out of their mouths like it was ice cream...
…And change the channel to watch a fucking ball game... Entire networks are devoted as described by Sir Joseph Tewkesbury, to “the playing of games with balls of various sizes”, as if we had become a nation of sedentary dogs content to watch others chase the ball, chase the ball, chase the ball, chase the ball…
… We have made the American politicians what they are.
We want them to lie to us because we're spoiled children demanding sugar instead of real food, we don't care if it rots our teeth and gives us diabetes and deficits.
… And then we have the goddamn nerve to complain about the candidates we get. News Flash: you wouldn't vote for Abraham Lincoln or Franklin Roosevelt if they had to run on a modern television campaign.
The rubes need to look in the mirror, STFU, and stop blaming the employees for being stupid. Do our politicians behave badly? Of course they do, and whose fault is that? Are prostitutes to blame for the moralist's lust, or the pusher man for the customers' intoxication?

We shape them. We hire them. …And …

"Necon Bloging" Defined as a Mental Disorder

NEOCON BLOG BABBLER:
from the DSM-IV
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
Latent repressed homosexuality and gynophobia, with racism virus outbreaks under stress. Hatred of the poor, hatred of self, hated of injured or damaged people described as "victims", self-hatred, and hatred of those sympathetic or supportive of "victims".
To meet the criteria for this disease, persons must exhibit three or more of the following:
1) The use of the word "pussy" as an epithet, meaning somehow unmanly. It is striking that these sufferers would try to insult others by identifying them with a part of the female anatomy that average adults have always been rather fond of.
2)The use of "faggot" in the list of political insults. It is remarkable that people suffering from this syndrome use references to homosexuality as the sine qua non of insults, the worst thing you can call another man-- worse, apparently, than drug abuse, perjury, stealing old ladies' pensions, taking bribes, ignorance, indifference, slander and libel, race-baiting, contempt of congress, consorting with the enemy, poisoning the soil and water, hypocrisy, draft-dodging, gun crimes, weapons-trading, neglect, cocaine and alcohol abuse, religious intolerance, etc., et alia.
Neocon Blog Babblers are fascinated by other men's penises, and what they might be doing with those penises. A state referendum was passed in Michigan to deny employee benefits to men who play with other men's penises, whereas most heterosexual males rarely think about other men's penises, with the exception of urologists, artists, and tailors. Phallocentric courtesies such as "How they hanging?" or "Do you dress to the left or the right, sir?" are lost on them.
3)These sufferers will sometimes combine their fear and revulsion regarding women and male homosexuals. The resulting complex of emotions will confuse the sufferer until he has no recourse but to resort to epithets like "liberal".
4)Up until the 1980's, the political term "liberal" was not considered derogatory, outside of certain right-wing fringe groups. It was the sinister but sunny actor, lifeguard and General Electric spokesmodel Ronald Reagan, showing signs of Alzeheimer's while still in office, that made it socially acceptable to denigrate someone for being "liberal", i.e., tolerant of divergent beliefs.
Ironically, the "laissez faire" or "live and let live" attitude of liberalism was applied by followers of Reagan to the economy and business practices. The hypocrisy inherent in a "free market" full of sweetheart deals went unnoticed.
5) Sufferers show an inability to step outside of this complex of assumptions and prejudices long enough to vote for the long-term good of their country. They defend against self-knowledge of this contradiction by loudly proclaiming their patriotism and questioning the patriotism of dissenters.
6) Cognitive dissonance, a gap between what is said and what is done, to a remarkable degree. A candidate need not increase funding for schools to hire more qualified math and science instructors, so long as he SAYS he wants "No Child Left Behind." A candidate need not actually defend our shores, so long as he owns guns and is PERCEIVED to be "tough". Wouldn't it be great if all those business majors and politicians' kids were given the same chance to defend their country that the kids in Flint and East St. Louis were given? We would pay real money to see Tucker Carlson scrambling for cover. (How did he become a television pundit? Was it something like Brett Summers being declared a "celebrity" on the Match Game?)
Lastly (for now) we must face the clinical difficulties in trying to reason patients afflicted with neocon virus. Like alcoholics and other addicts, they are not grateful to those who might point out their flaws. Instead we see a classic pattern of denial, anger, projection, even outbreaks of self-righteous violence. They even resent those who might have more facts at hand as "pointy-headed", "snooty", "elite", etc.
The decision to close their minds seems to occur at an early age-- inheriting the resentment of the parents, being snubbed by liberal girls at a dance, the belief that someone wants to spoil their fun with guns, etc. Since their ideas cannot hold their own in a marketplace of ideas without first discrediting the opposition, they band together with people who already agree with their world view. The campaign of disinformation that brought them to this position of power would make the old Comintern blush.
It saddens us when once respectable conservatives hitch their wagon to the neocon star; like Colorado Avalanche fans, these conservatives are so desperate to be winners, they tolerate the neocons' thuggery as a necessary evil. We simply don't know if this obtuseness, i.e. willful ignorance, is genetic or environmental. The future is dark, though lit by many eager fools. There is no known cure, but is there Hope?

Houyhnhnms and the People of the Lie

The Houyhnhnms are a race of highly intelligent and civilized horses. They live in a remote land first revealed by the Englishman Lemuel Gulliver in the 18th century, and described by Jonathan Swift in Gulliver’s Travels.

The Houyhnhnms speak a language, and use the curve between the hoof and the pastern to grasp objects, in the same way that humans use their hands.

They have no wars, no poverty, and almost no disease. They are completely ruled by reason and the laws of nature. They live together with all our human virtues and none of our vices. The very idea of “evil” is unknown to them.

One reason for this is that Houyhnhnms do not know how to lie. They use language for communication and understanding, and not deception, so “to say a thing that is not” makes no sense to them.

Current research sponsored by Ormondroyd’s suggests that the Houyhnhnms’ inability to lie stems from equine nature, not nurture. Most human children have learned to lie, or at least dissemble, by the age of two. Indeed, learning to lie might be part of human psychological maturation.

Our first lies represent “the beginning of the end of idealizing parents”, according to David A. Gershaw, Ph.D.-- the dawning realization that parents are not omnipotent. He cites Psychiatrist Arnold Goldberg remark, "The first time you see a limit to your parents' powers is a developmental step forward, towards a more realistic view of others." The reader is also referred to Twain’s My First Lie, and How I got Out of It.

What then do we make of the adult lie, the hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance that devastate our world? It is our ability to lie to ourselves and to others that makes it possible to murder, steal, wage war, cheat widows and orphans, and pave over forests. Men like Joel Schumacher and Paul Verhoeven continue to be employed as film directors despite all evidence to the contrary.

As highly intelligent creatures, Houyhnhnms have the ability to imagine a crime against another. They are not kept from villainy because they are angels, but because they cannot rationalize such a crime. They cannot lie to themselves about motives or justification.

Both Orwell and Solzhenitsyn have written much more profoundly about how lies provide the fertile ground necessary for human misery to grow.

We can only add the casual observation that humans prefer lies to truth; we are drawn to them like a crack baby seeking its addiction in its mother’s milk. The forced laughter of the radio sidekick telling us these people are having a good time, the avuncular politician who flatters and panders, the body count fantasies of the action film, we are surrounded by lies and elevate the master liars to the highest ranks. Those who delude themselves as well as their followers run for president.

Truth tellers are only honored in retrospect, when Truth is the daughter of Time. The little boy who announced that the emperor had no clothes was not rewarded for his vision, and as Robert Heinlein put it, “in the Country of the Blind, the one-eyed man is in for a hell of a rough ride.”

How do we make the truth as attractive as the lie? How do we ask Americans to listen to complex issues when simple answers are so much sweeter? We discover democracy when we recognize that every serf in Wat Tyler’s army has some value equal to the king; we did not anticipate that the American mob would prefer bleached and sugared bread to whole wheat thought. This is a bitter realization for sons and daughters of Athena, a triumph for the children of Machiavelli.

We cannot imitate the Houyhnhnms, because they are virtuous by nature, not by choice. Animals are not often pulled in two directions, feeling two things at once as humans do. Jim Harrison has observed, “When a cat doesn’t know what to do, it sits down.”

A degenerate species of humanoids called “Yahoos” live in the land of the Houyhnhnms. They are very stupid and very nasty, and have to be controlled by the Houyhnhnms because they cannot control themselves. Yahoos have spread out over most of our planet and can interbreed with homo sapiens.

For this reason Lemuel Gulliver wished he could always live with the Houyhnhnms. It only takes a moment for a handful of Yahoos to destroy even out noblest achievements. Men and women like Jonathan Swift, with their heads and hearts broken by their fellow man, may well turn to the company of animals for comfort. Fanny Hackabout-Jones, in a biographical novel by Erica Jong, observed that Swift’s misanthropy was not that of a malicious conservative; rather it was the bitterness of a disappointed lover.

The Death of Saul Bellow

From his obit in the Times:
"Like their creator, Mr. Bellow's heroes were all head and all body both. They tended to be dreamers, questers or bookish intellectuals, but they lived in a lovingly depicted world of cranks, con men, fast-talking salesmen and wheeler-dealers....Mr. Bellow grew up reading the Old Testament, Shakespeare and the great 19th-century Russian novelists and always looked with respect to the masters, even as he tried to recast himself in the American idiom. A scholar as well as teacher, he read deeply and quoted widely, often referring to Henry James, Marcel Proust and Gustave Flaubert. But at the same time he was apt to tell a joke coined by Henny Youngman."

My favorite Saul Bellow novel-- by that, I mean the one I re-read the most, for comfort, guidance or stimulation-- is "Humboldt's Gift". I love the combination of high and low culture, from characters that should be played by Dennis Farina, Bruno Kirby (as Ron Cantibile) and John Cusak (as the young Charlie Citrine) to intellectual and philosophical flights and a central figure of Humboldt that would be played as-- I don't know, Zero Mostel as Harold Bloom? Don't forget Carole Raphaelle Davis as Charlie's footsie playing mistress Renata.
(Carole Raphaelle Davis played the Italian Wolfram and Hart representative in "The Girl In Question" one of the funniest episodes in any Whedon enterprise.)
Whenever I need bracing-- fairly often with melancholy Scots-Irish genes and only a dab of French sensuality-- I can turn to this from "Humboldt's Gift":
“For after all Humboldt did what poets in crass America are supposed to do. He chased ruin and death even harder than he had chased women. He blew his talent and health and reached home, the grave, in a dusty slide. He plowed himself under. Okay. So did Edgar Allan Poe, picked out of the Baltimore gutter. And Hart Crane over the side of a ship. And Jarrell falling in front of a car. And poor John Berryman jumping from a bridge. For some reason this awfulness is peculiarly appreciated by business and technological America. The country is proud of its dead poets. It takes terrific satifaction in the poets' testimony that the USA is too tough, too big, too much, too rugged, that American reality is overpowering. And to be a poet is a school thing, a skirt thing, a church thing. The weakness of the spiritual powers is proved in the childishness, madness, drunkenness, and despair of these martyrs. Orpheus moved stones and trees. But a poet can't perform a hysterectomy or send a vehicle out of the solar system. Miracle and power no longer belong to him. So poets are loved, but loved because they just can't make it here. They exist to light up the enormity of the tangle and JUSTIFY THE CYNICISM [emphasis mine] of those who say, "If I were not such a corrupt, unfeeling bastard, creep, thief, and vulture, I couldn't get through this either. Look at those good and tender and soft men, the best of us. They succumbed, poor loonies." (from HUMBOLDT'S GIFT)

The VanGoghs of this world are to get their reward in Heaven. Do we despise Andy Warhol for making self promotion and factory art production pay off? Or do we admire him as a trickster who sold the emperor new clothes? American as apple pie. Why is Elvis recycled constantly and Big Mama Thornton forgotten? Five bars of her "Hound Dog" will blow out any Elvis left in your system.
There is some truth in the complaint "'It's 'cause he's white!"-- there is more than one kind of "whiteness" in America. There is a kind of whiteness, blandness of the spirit that lets us stay asleep, pretends to be authentic but in fact doesn't upset anyone.
This was most evident in Pat Boone's covers of Little Richard; Elvis was an acceptable compromise to the culture between Boone and Big Mama.
Does anyone really believe that Elvis was "transgressive" because Ed Sullivan wouldn't show his hips moving? Censoring Elvis was a masterpiece of PR; nothing sells faster in America than shocking your grandma. When Elvis was swallowed up by Vegas, it was a fulfillment of prophecy.
Joss Whedon wondered if part of "Buffy's" artistic success was based on its unwillingness to not be "comfortable" relationship with the audience's expectations about genre.
Is this entirely the fault of capitalism and a world where perception is formed by advertising skills? A system that says the 40th most popular song or film or book in America is not as worthwhile artistically as the top ten?
They had the opposite problem in Soviet Russia, or Revolutionary France, where the "successful" artist was the one who pleased the most people in power. The painter David and his "Death of Marat" or "Liberty Leading the People"-- my god, he's got the chops still, but my god what a monster.
Power loves flattery; the crowd craves reassurance, even if it's a cynical rowd being reassured by "Sin City" that we indeed live in a corrupt world where beautiful noir women wear sidearms (and sleep with horribly scarred men.)
If we operate on a patronage system, do we cross our fingers and hope that the Medici just thrown money at us and leave us alone? The MacArthur grants are a good idea-- I love what John Sayles has done with his-- but you're still counting on knowing someone who knows someone who...
Maybe the best art in America is going to always be the stuff that relies on happy accident, like Louis Armstrong shooting off a gun on New Year's Eve, and then being sent to a Waif's Home where someone had donated a trumpet.
Or combinations of people coming together to mold "Citizen Kane" and "Casablanca".
Or the Hernandez Brothers making us "fall in love with ink and paper" because of the "Archie," Kirby and Ditko comics their mother brought home?
There is a great deal of the bird singing because it must in American art. Muddy Waters' voice carries across the fields and then transfers to success on the Chicago stage because it's in his nature.
We are not surprised when the scorpion stings the frog because "it's in his nature". Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised when the artist or the art form break through the rubble to reach the sun.
I've got it easy; nothing stops me from writing or drawing except a want of ink and paper. The frustration I feel is caused by not winning "The Smile of the World" as Warhol or the Beastie Boys have.
I would be a happier fellow if I concentrated on the work and let the selling. getting and spending take care of itself. My artistic frustrations should be based on whether I got the work done and done well, not whether it sells or not. I ought to be more concerned about craft, whether my sentences are polished or my drawings as anatomically skilled as they should be. And almost everyone you know, including yourself, is going to try and distract you from that. They don't know how else to measure your worth, except to ask if it's been published or not, if it's sold or not, and if so, how much has it sold?
It's a bit easier for musicians or magicians to focus their energy on craft and less on the audience. If I don't start worrying about the audience-- readers and editors-- I end up writing on the inside of a closet in my own blood, and in a language that only I can read.
The poor bastards i feel sorry for are those whose art depends on a group effort and lots of money: dancers, actors, playwrights, filmmakers... I knew a New York actor who was rejected three times for the same role in a play: the first time because he was "Too Young", the second time because he was "Too Old", and a third time because he looked "Too Young" again.
(Producers and directors ought to be licensed, like psychotherapists; their power their subconscious wields in American culture is frightening to behold.)
Bracing words from Saul Bellow, the streetwise zaydeh I never had-- except that by writing it down, he does indeed pass it on to those who need it.

"A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the need for illusion is deep."

"Take our politicians: they're a bunch of yo-yos. The presidency is now a cross between a popularity contest and a high school debate, with an encyclopedia of cliches the first prize."

"You're all alone when you're a writer. Sometimes you just feel you need a humanity bath. Even a ride on the subway will do that. But it's much more interesting to talk about books. After all, that's what life used to be for writers: they talk books, politics, history, America. Nothing has replaced that."

"I discovered that rejections are not altogether a bad thing. They teach a writer to rely on his own judgment and to say in his heart of hearts, 'To hell with you.'"

"A man is only as good as what he loves."