Showing posts with label internet memes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label internet memes. Show all posts

"Hate to Talk About Myself"


I usually start answering memes and then don't finish them; too much like work, or Who Cares? But this one from Elspeth was fun and involves some word play:

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people you like and include me. Try not to repeat a song title.


Pick your band/artist: Fats Waller

Are you a male or female: The Sheik of Araby

Describe yourself: Keeping Out of Mischief Now

How do you feel about yourself: I’ve Got My Fingers Crossed

Describe where you currently live: Lounging at the Waldorf

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: I Wish that I Could Shimmy Like My Sister Kate

Your favorite form of transportation: Alligator Crawl

Your best friend is: My Very Good Friend the Milkman

Your favorite color is: Black and Blue

What’s the weather like: Russian Fantasy

Your favorite time of day is: Loafin’ Time

If your life were a TV show, it would be called: Blue Because of You

What life is to you: The Panic is On

What is the best advice you have to give: Squeeze Me

If you could change your name what would you change it to: Big Chief de Sota

Your favorite food is: Fat and Greasy

Thought for the Day: Ain’t Got Nobody to Grind My Coffee

How you would like to die: Pantin' in the Panther Room

Your soul's present condition: Numb Fumblin'

The faults you can bear: The Curse of an Aching Heart

Your motto: It's a Sin to Tell a Lie

What Song the Superman Sang: Commonplace Book of Quotations for February 2009

"Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you're lucky."
- Alan Moore

“I always offend someone by asserting that the reason the death of a pet is worse than the death of a human is that you have mixed feelings about all people.”
-- Dick Cavett

"I think that by retaining one’s childhood love of such things as trees, fishes, butterflies, and -- to return to my first instance -- toads, one makes a peaceful and decent future a little more probable… At any rate, Spring is here, even in London N.1, and they can’t stop you enjoying it. This is a satisfying reflection. How many a time I have stood watching the toads mating, or a pair of hares having a boxing match in the young corn, and thought of all the important persons who would stop me enjoying this if they could. But luckily they can’t. So long as you are not actually ill, hungry, frightened or immured in a prison or holiday camp, Spring is still Spring. The atom bombs are piling up in the factories, the police are prowling through the cities, the lies are streaming from the loudspeakers, but the earth is still going round the sun, and neither the dictators nor the bureaucrats, deeply as they disapprove of the process, are able to prevent it."
-- Orwell

“This town [Washington,DC] talks to itself and whips itself into a frenzy with its own theories that are completely at odds with what the rest of America is thinking.”
– David Axelrod


-- image by Sleestak, for his blog Lady, That's My Skull


“Faith is at best morally neutral, and at worst a vile mental distortion. Our habits are to respect people of faith, but I think we’ve been forced to question those habits. The powers of sweet reason look a lot more attractive post-9/11 than the beckonings of faith, and I no longer put them on equal scales.”
-- Ian McEwan, profile in The New Yorker


“The search for an impartial and neutral tool to mitigate the disruptive effect of factionalism was an important feature of political life in Italian city republics. As Waley (1991) maintains, the political scene in medieval Italy was characterized by factionalism fueled by intense competition for political office. The citizens were driven by an ardent desire to obtain the "honors and benefits" of office (Manin 1995). To overcome factional strife, most Italian communes adopted the institution of podesta, a foreigner endowed with judicial and administrative powers. The podesta was usually hired for a year and played the role of military leader, judge, and administrator. An important attribute of the podesta was that he had to be a foreigner so that he could be neutral to the internal "discords and conspiracies"
-- via Steve Clemons, The Washington Note

“The aim of literature is the creation of a small object covered with fur which breaks your heart.”
-- Donald Barthelme

"I’m confused now, because I thought Lindsey Graham was DC’s official angry chimp."
-- comment by Sassette on the "dead chimp cartoon" controversy at Wonkette


"In Final Crisis 7, Superman finally kills Darkseid [by singing a song into the newly constructed Miracle Machine. Morrison doesn't let the reader know exactly what song Superman sings, but instead leaves it up to the reader to fill in this particular gap."
-- Meme explained in Dr. K's 100-Page Super Spectacular Blog, with links to other examples. (For the record, it is the opinion of this writer that this song would only lengthen Darkseid's reign.)

The Return of the Comic Strip: Online


Video killed the radio star, but thirty years before, Wertham's Seduction of the Innocent and the McCarthy era killed the comic book's chance to evolve into a mature medium. The comic strip as objet d'art held on in the newspaper, with the Joycean wordplay of Walt Kelly's Pogo, Hal Foster's Prince Valiant (which survives, when you can find it, under Gary Gianni and Mark Schultz) and Frank Frazetta's underpaid work-for-hire on Li'l Abner. By the 1970's, newspapers had shrunk the panel size by half, which made panoramic vistas and pen-and-ink work like that shown here next to useless.

Doonesbury was moved to the editorial page so that no innocent might trip over an idea, Peanuts was treading water and collecting royalties, and wit and craft were replaced by odious pablum.
I don't know if anyone outside fandom has noticed yet, but webcomics have been quietly building a new golden era for the comic strip, although dignified people are still embarrassed by the form. True, New York wants us to call them "graphic novels" and constipate the reader with proper MFA nightmares like Chris Ware, the kind of comics they think they should enjoy (ooh, look! art deco borders!), like those end of the year Oscar-bait films that someone said "confuse pain with art".
But Get Your War On and This Modern World captured an era as well as anything in any medium, and Alison Bechtel's alt-family strip Dykes to Watch Out For is finishing up just as the format is finding its legs. It's telling that the newly corporate Village Voice tried to kill This Modern World, and that the people in Bechtel's strip look more like my friends and family than Hi and Lois ever did-- and at their most dysfunctional, they still aren't as annoying as Cathy.
Kalamazoo artist Jane Irwin is posting her historical fiction about clockwork automatons online, before it appears between covers.
Phil and Katja Foglio's all-ages steampunk adventure Girl Genius can be read online; and sometimes I gotta go for the profane, self-referential "Sweet Monkey Jesus!" humor of Neo-Monster Island (and if you've been waiting for Godzilla to stomp the Bush administration into chutney, here's your chance to get your kaiju on).
Of the big, corporate publishers, The New York Times, of all people, has the cleanest presentation, with online comics that scroll up and down, like this strip, "Snow Dope" by Dean Haspiel. They even had sense enough to get the stick out of their butt and run La Maggie la Loca, by my ongoing favorite, Jaimie Hernandez, in the Sunday magazine, though online it's a huge, unreadable mess; wait for the trade.

The online reader developed for DC's Zuda Comics travels from left to right, meant to approximate page turning, but I find it simply annoying, and Marvel's online reader is even clumsier. The panels are either too big or too small for the screen, and whether a comic is fast or slow, the software-- not the reader-- dictates the pace at which the eye scans story and art. When even a hardened addict like myself finds it too much trouble to read your comics online, you've got issues that need resolving bigger than Joe Quesada's problems with women. The majors (in this case, Marvel and DC) need to bite the bullet, reformat their scans, and go with a presentation similar to the reader's choice, 11" by 17" scroll used by the Times and the independents.

The Five People You Meet in Hell Who Piss on Your Head and Tell You They Reign

Here's a useful tool:

Here's another useful tool: a website that allows you to generate your own Dantesque Hell

Apologists for Capitalism Have Their Food Stolen by Virtuous Pagans
Circle I Limbo

Barbara Bush, The Beastie Boys
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Tony Blair, Joe Leiberman, Pharmaceutical Salesmen
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Dick Cheney, Staff of Fox News and ABC This Week
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Oliver North, George W. Bush, William Casey, Creationists and Censors, George H.W. Bush, Saddam Hussein and The Boys
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Objectivists, Joe Quesada
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Ronald Reagan, Chauvinst Republicans, The Contranistas
Circle VII Burning Sands

MTV Programmers, George F. Will
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Osama bin Laden, Benito Mussolini, Auguste Pinochet, German General Staff and Nuremberg Defendants
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

Book/23/5

(Instructions passed on from Elspeth)

1. Grab the book that is closest to you.
2. Go to page 23.
3. Type in the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
{Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.}
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Tag other people to do the same.

***
SHANNON: Goddamit, I never preached an atheistical sermon in my life, and...

MISS FELLOWES: I've completed my call, which I made collect to Texas.

SHANNON: Excuse me, Miss Fellowes, for not getting out of this hammock, but I... Miss Fellowes?
***


Consider yourself tagged. You're it.

I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER! AN EXEGESIS


The Seraphic web page I CAN HAS CHEESEBURGER offers lots of cute animals with misspelled captions added by semi-anonymous contributors. I laughed until I choked.

There are many variations of the "I'm in your base killin ur doodz" meme, which is defined here as an internet "catchphrase that can be roughly translated to 'LOL [laughing out loud] you got pwned [owned] and don't even know it yet.'" It caught on (is there a folklorist in the house?) and now there must be hundreds of chat room name tags reading "I'M IN UR [noun] [verb]ING UR [noun]", for example:

"I'm in your fridge eating your f00dz

"I'm in your house impeachin ur doodz"

and expressing-the-expressible: I'm in ur macaronis warming my feets.

It supposedly originated with on-line multiplayer games such as Command and Conquer, a taunt used when one player surprises another-- though I suspect it has deeper roots in street taunts from pick-up basketball games and such.

The creative spelling is part of the charm. Even the mistyped "pwned" is retained ironically. Deliberate misspellings were first legitimized by Prince in the printed lyrics on his album covers. Misspelled words began as a sign of ignorance, then as an indicator of street authenticity or "keeping it real", then were winked at by weak teachers, then mocked ironically by hipster youth, and finally achieved affectionate status as a form of creative wordplay among the young.

COMMONPLACE BOOK, RANDOM EXCERPTS for JANUARY

"No one can have a higher opinion of him than I have," W.S. Gilbert once said of an old friend, "and I think he is a dirty little beast."

****
"I’m in total disagreement with her [Hillary Clinton] on Iraq. It all has to do, in my judgment, with the post-Vietnam image the Democrats got of being weak on defense. So they all had to prove their muscularity by voting for this [Iraq war] resolution. I think this was all wrong. We are a republic. We are not an empire. And this is an imperial policy."
-- Gary Hart in New York Times Magazine, 1/8/06

***
Now independently wealthy, Jeremy Bentham made the most of his independence. He moved into a house in Westminster once occupied by poet John Milton. There he became something of a recluse and an eccentric. He named his teapot "Dickey," his walking-sticks "Dapple" and "Dobbin," and his cat "The Reverend Dr. John Langhorne.”

***
“For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power in Washington. Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues hold stoutly to a worldview despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality. The offspring of ideology and theology are not always bad but they are always blind. And that is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the facts.
".... What we need is what the ancient Israelites called "hocma" - the science of the heart, the capacity to see, to feel and then to act as if the future depended on you." -- Bill Moyers

****
Unretouched photos from Engrish dot com, a website that specializes in
very bad translations found in Asian advertising.


****
"I’ve worked with nearly fifty graduate students, and I feel confident saying that not a single one has possessed Derek’s raw talent, his courage, or his willingness to write about the scary stuff that most people refuse to look in the eye. It’s safe to call Derek a "dark" writer. His stories are relentless and terrifying, despite the fact that he writes about the mundane — about manual labor and emotional exhaustion and bad relationships and the like. He’s an innovator, a sorcerer with a sentence and a writer with a vision. In short, he’s not what MFA programs are looking for." – David Hollander on a rejected MFA applicant

****
Well, the future hasn't quite turned out as Orwell feared, but it's pretty damn close. The British police have more than enough powers to make life very difficult for you if you choose to disagree with Mr. Blair. A woman was arrested in Downing Street recently for reading out the names of the Iraqi war dead; this was justified under the terms of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005. And on the other side of the pond, Cousin George is busy phone-tapping everyone who thinks he's a fool; an exercise which should keep him busy for some time.
-- Michael Allen, “Grumpy Old Bookman” (blog)

***
From “A Man for All seasons” by Robert Bolt:

William Roper: So, now you give the Devil the benefit of law!
Sir Thomas More: Yes! What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get after the Devil?
William Roper: Yes, I'd cut down every law in England to do that!
Sir Thomas More: Oh? And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, Man's laws, not God's! And if you cut them down, and you're just the man to do it, do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake!

Sir Thomas More: Why not be a teacher? You'd be a fine teacher; perhaps a great one.
Richard Rich: If I was, who would know it?
Sir Thomas More: You; your pupils; your friends; God. Not a bad public, that.

Cardinal Wolsey: You're a constant regret to me, Thomas. If you could just see facts flat-on, without that horrible moral squint... With a little common sense you could have made a statesman.

****

From The Onion:
PHOENIX, AZ—Ignoring the fact that they live in the middle of a God-forsaken alkali desert, residents continue to demand more water for their parched lawns and bleached-out swimming pools.
1/17/06 1:43 PM

****
"I don't want to see this country ever go across the bridge. I know the capacity that is there to make tyranny total in America, and we must see to it that this agency [the National Security Agency] and all agencies that possess this technology operate within the law and under proper supervision, so that we never cross over that abyss. That is the abyss from which there is no return." --Senator Frank Church (D-Idaho), investigating the National Security Agency, 1975.

***
A true war story is never moral. It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain men from doing the things men have always done. If a story seems moral, do not believe it. If at the end of a war story you feel uplifted, or if you feel that some small bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, then you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie. There is no rectitude whatsoever. There is no virtue. As a first rule of thumb, therefore, you can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil.
--“How to Tell a True War Story,” by Tim O’Brien, in The Things They Carried
***

From an interview in GamePro magazine with the developers of the game “Saint’s Row”:

GamePro: Let's say I want to be a pimp. Do I have to go and find pimp-specific missions?

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"Super-apes are never a bad idea. I want that phrase on my gravestone." – “Dave’s Long Box” (blog)

See Also Commonplace Book for December, Commonplace Book 1